For The Joy Set Before Me

Twenty nine weeks of hard work and ten more weeks of harder work still ahead.  Does this sound like the christian walk to you?  Does this contradict the saying of our Saviour who said, "...my burden is light?"  Does hard work discourage you?  Are you finding yourself looking back to an easier time or forward to an easier time?  Do you see yourself in the Israelites who longed for Egypt and leeks?

  When times get tough and we are left to our own strength, we will fail to see what God has in store for us.  Sometimes I find the Lord is encouraging me when a trial is new all around, but if it is something I have already walked through before, I find Him more quiet and expecting me to lean on what I already know about Him and what He has proven He can accomplish in His perfect time. 

In all honesty, this pregnancy has not been enjoyable like the others.  I am sure being 37 years old and taking care of three children already has something to do with its extra toughness.  Though everything is growing well, I find I do not have the mental energy to think beyond the next hour.  Daydreaming of a new baby and new baby things just does not have a place and I have come to accept that as part of the hard work God has asked me to do.  My desire to have one more child has always been there, but I knew ahead of time, it would require more than "good feelings" to get me through it.  It would require hard work and full reliance on God.  True hard work is not enjoyable in the moment or season, but the rewards are always worth it.  The joy from hardwork comes after the fact and usually not during it.  Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him...nothing pleasureable about dieing on a cross, but He did it anyway out of obedience to the Father and love for us.  In ten weeks, Lord willing, I will be holding my newborn son and the joy will have its time to be centerstage.  Until then, my focus is on the Father and my prayers for daily strength to do the task before me. 

The Treasures of Darkness

We all wonder at times if and when God wills that we go through a dark trial. We wonder if we will fold under the stress of the pain or grief.
Last week, my husband and I entered our first dark trial together...the loss of our fourth child.
As I have heard over the years, you cannot prepare for the loss of a child. And though this is true, you can prepare your heart to not panic or despair by having a loving relationship with the Father in Heaven ahead of time. My heart can rest in Him, because over the years, He has already proven Himself a faithful comforter. He has proven His word true here on earth, so I can safely trust Him for the promises of eternity...like the promise that "whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him." John 3:36. I know I have eternal life and that one day I will see my child again. I will have all of eternity to love that precious soul. Only time seperates us now. This eternal soul is alive outside of time and already lives with the Father. I find deep joy knowing my child is enjoying the presence of Jesus, because I know there is no greater joy on earth. The best moments are always when my children find a new reason to praise Jesus or when they discover a new promise in His word. Having a sibling in Heaven gives them another reason to "seek the things above." Losing a loved one definitely falls under the category of "darkness," but God promises a treasure and hidden riches within that darkness. My prayer is that this little life already taken from us will bring many souls to Heaven just by fixing our eyes on the One who offers eternal life through Jesus Christ's death on the cross.